The Daily Globe: J's Biography

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Menu: J World: J's Biography

If you've come this far you're either really curious or amazingly bored. The kind of bored that would make watching the grass grow seem exciting. Alright, for the sake of argument let's say you're curious. Then the following shameless self-promotion should fill your needs, and then some. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Call Me "J"

Of course, that really is my name. Welcome to the world that exists in my mind. I created this world to amuse myself and my friends. I hope you enjoy it as well. The following is bits and pieces of me and my life. I can't promise they'll make any sense.

Who is "J"?

A good question, and one which mystifies me on a daily basis. How does anyone sum up themselves? Are we what we do for a living, where we grew up, where we went to school, or who our friends, parents, or children are? Identity is an elusive thing. It almost always defies attempts to categorize or simplify it, despite our apparent need to try. Humans have a curious, albeit understandable, need to generalize and simplify everything; to refer to so-and-so as the painter or such-as-such as that guy with the limp. We label someone with some small attribute of themself and the label inevitably becomes the person. That's how last names came into being hundreds of years ago. This may make that person easier to remember but we miss so much when we place that person in a box. Taoist physicist Fritjof Capra, through one of his characters in his wonderful film, Mindwalk, states that "life is infinitely more than our ability to reduce it."

As for me, I'm no more nor less complex than anyone else, although that's still saying a lot because the complexity of human experience is quite vast. And I feel compelled to point out that everyone is just as valuable as everyone else, despite elitist dogma to the contrary. I am continually outraged by claims that some group of people (such as a religion, race, or nation), or even some individual, is somehow superior to everyone else. That sort of conclusion is based solely on what is considered to be a valued characteristic and is almost always the definition of the group claiming to be superior. In other words, if the ruling class, who has money, declares that having money makes one a superior person, and I have no money, then by their definition I have no value to society. Yet if I turn out to be the next Monet but die penniless, as he did, will I not have made a significant contribution to society? We desperately need to expand our definitions of what makes a person worthwhile. And I believe, at least to a certain degree, that this problem is a direct result of our propensity to pigeonhole people and to judge them based on the labels that we place on them. We do the same thing to so-called backwards peoples when we try to impose our set of values on them and view them through our set of morals. Naturally, they never measure up and we conclude, quite incorrectly, that we're better than they are. Semiotician and author Umberto Eco wrote a brilliant satirical essay in which he reverses this by having a tribesman of a pacific island visit present day Milan and look at Italian culture as an anthropologist. He finds western customs incomprehensible and declares us, quite correctly, to be an inferior and savage people.

Not that any of this makes any difference, though, now that quantum physics has finally shown the age old claim of the taoists, that we are all one, to be correct at the sub-atomic level. And if we're all one, division is ultimately pointless. So all of you out there feeling smug about your superiority; get over yourself. Like it or not, you're part of a completely interconnected web of life in which nature couldn't give a damn if you own a BMW or descend from a royal blood line. If you're still curious about "J", perhaps you can draw some of your own conclusions from my short biography which follows below, just don't expect any simple answers from me about anything. I've also compiled a list of my favorites in a number of different categories, which may provide some additional insight, and may provide a basis for my ultimate commital.

Above: "J" with his lovely bride at the 1995 "J" Awards

Opinions

If you haven't figured it out by now, I have very strong opinions about most things. As a form of catharsis, I write a diatribe in which I rant about my opinions, beliefs and ideas on a different subject from time to time. Also, mini-diatribes appear in almost every Letter "J", The Daily Globe's Weekly Newsletter. I try to resist the critic's tendency to be entirely negative without offering any solutions, although often there aren't any easy answers. I feel confident at least a few people will be offended by what I have to say because people seem to think my views tend toward the more extreme, or at least are outside the mainstream. Personally, I think of myself as a fairly balanced taoist and moderate realist and I never agree with everything said by either liberals, conservatives, or any other group. My diatribes are based solely on my opinions, and often those opinions are not as well informed as they could be because it's virtually impossible to be fully and completely informed about everything. Recognizing this, I am very open to adapting and changing my views based on new information or other's ideas. I am not rigidly steadfast in my opinions and instead am constantly altering and refining them and, importantly, I'm willing to admit I'm wrong when I am; qualities I strongly believe more people should adopt. Accordingly, I would love to have your thoughts, response, comments, disagreements, or whatever, to my diatribes. I reprint the most interesting responses and comments I receive, along with the original monograph and my reply, if I feel it necessary, in a Diatribe Archive. If you want to ask me anything, fill out the Ask "J" Anything online form. At least the best question of the week is reprinted along with my answer and previous answers can be found at the Ask "J" Answers Archive.

At right: "J" and Keith

Birthdate: 3 March 1959

Birthplace: Reading, Pennsylvania

Nicknames: None (Mom wanted it that way)

Favorite Beer: Traquair House Ale. Winter, Guinness; Summer, fruit beers such as Oregon Blackberry Porter or Great Divide's Wild Raspberry

Turn-ons: Garter belts and lingerie, wit, sarcasm, intelligence, people without inhibitions, shoulders (and sleeveless blouses), Scottish/Asian combinations

Turn-offs: Hardcore christians, idiots, children, morons, Republicans, Pro-lifers (pro-control-other's-lives), people who don't question anything, whiners

For many more likes and dislikes, see my Faves Lists

"J" at Woodstock

Biography of "J"

"J" was born and raised in Dutch Wonderland, in the middle of Pennsylvania Dutch (or Amish) Country, better known as Berks County, Pennsylvania. He spent most of his childhood in the small suburban town of Shillington, famous only as the birthplace of author John Updike. Childhood was mostly idyllic, except for the usual alcoholic stepfather traumas. "J" characterizes himself as a young child as "pretty much like Calvin" except instead of a tiger he had a Rabbit (like Harvey except you could see it). He spent a lot of time in the woods behind his grandmother's, was a boy scout (really), was involved in community theater, and even attended church. After high school, "J" played in an Army Band and was stationed in New York City. After being honorably discharged, he attended college in Reading, Pennsylvania (it's the 1st Railroad in Monopoly) and worked full-time managing record stores. Stupidly married too young, "J" was promoted to Buyer and moved with his then-wife to North Carolina and bought a house and a dog. After financial troubles hit the company, he lost his job, his wife, and worst of all, Gidget, his dog. "J" then switched professions and became Director of Marketing & Advertising for a local chain of video stores.

Citing this as a turning point, "J" fell in love with a UNC student he met working at the video company, Chantal, and moved with her to California where she was to attend law school. The relationship didn't survive her first year of law school, although a close friendship endures to this day. After a string of McJobs, "J" took a position with a video store chain where he met close friends Keith and Sean, who were working there part-time while they were in high school. This was his introduction to Big "G", a large tightknit group of friends he's still close to ten years later. "J" started working at this time writing for a law office, a job which he labored at for over eight years. After Keith and Sean finished high school, "J" roomed with Keith for a few years and then lived with some other friends. About this time, he and friend Karen wrote and published a book reviewing every bar in Santa Clara County, entitled The Bars of Santa Clara County: A Beer Drinkers Guide to Silicon Valley. After that "J", Keith, Michelle, and Kristine shared a house, dubbed Sarcasm Central, along with Keith. After the lease was up on Sarcasm Central, the four went their separate ways and "J" lived by himself in Sunnyvale for a year.

Another turning point hit in June of 1994, when "J" met Sarah at his work and it was love at first sight. After successful hypnosis, she agreed a few months later to marry him and they moved in together near Santa Clara University while she finished her undergraduate schooling. After poking and prodding by family and friends they finally managed to get their act together and plan a wedding. They were married July 13, 1996 in the San Jose Rose Garden with a reception at the Tied House Microbrewery. After a honeymoon visiting breweries in the Northwest and San Juan Island, the couple settled in Berkeley, California. In the fall of 1996, Sarah began attending law school at Boalt Hall (Berekeley's law school) and "J" got a job buying beer. And the great american novel he started ten years ago remains unfinished.

With Big "G" at the 'Stick

Work & Play Profile

Current Job: Beer Buyer for Beverages, & More!, a chain of upscale wine, beer, liquor and gourmet food superstores with 20 stores in three states, with many more to come this year.

Goals: To write the great American novel, or at least do enough freelance writing to support his music, film, and other habits.

Hobbies: Art, Music, Film, Photography, Reading, Computers, Taosim and Physics, Viewmaster slides, cheesy postcards, designing games, and collecting globes and any Schlitz beer paraphenalia using a globe in their logo.

At right: "J" and Elvis; Click here for a really cute picture

Recent Exploits

"J" keeps busy with his new job and working on the Daily Globe, a new card game, and, of course, his great american novel. New passions include late bottle vintage port wine, pub glasses, and trying to simplify his life. Sarah has caught the gardening bug in a major way and her chief concern was, until just recently, figuring out how to keep their Rabbit, Jools, from eating everything she plants. Tragically, Jools was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and died in early June 1997. She's buried under a bramble of rose bushes in the back yard.

People Profile

Love Interest: Married to Sarah J.

Lust Interests: Phoebe Cates, Alicia Silverstone, Moira Kelly, Mary Louise-Parker, Deborah Foreman, Eva Herzigova, Bridget Fonda, Jennifer Connelly, Mary Stuart Masterson, Helen Hunt, Meagan Follows, Nicole Kidman, Audrey Hepburn, Jewel, Renee Wellzenger, Juliette Binoche

Heroes: Bill Hicks, John Updike, Umberto Eco, Rene Magritte, Fritjof Capra, Stan Freberg, Jay Ward, William Blake, Stephen Fry, Elvis Costello, Friedrich Nietzsche, James Burke, Neil Gaiman, Joe Jackson, Bill Waterson, Dennis Miller, Sean Connery, Bill Murray, Terry Gilliam, Woody Allen, John Cleese, John Wesley Harding, Clarence Darrow, Liz Phair, John Lennon, Scott McCloud, Cecil Adams, Sister Wendy Beckett, Dave Stevens, Brian Bolland, Greg Proops, Harrison Ford, Edward Hopper, A.A. Milne, Leonardo Da Vinci

For many more likes and dislikes, see my Faves Lists

If you've gotten this far and still want more photos, who am I to stand in your way.

Jay and Sarah J. at her friend Fifi's wedding

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