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Jerry Falwell A Psychedelic Television Character? |
In a press conference today, Tinky Winky, the star of the children's television show "The Teletubbies," accused Rev. Jerry Falwell of being a eight-foot-tall purple freak with a handbag. "C'mon, can't you guys see it?" said Winky, "he's a damn freak!" The charges levelled against Falwell seemed to center on Falwell's far-out, acid-induced theories, like the one about the asteroid hitting Earth because of the Y2K bug.
"He's the psychedelic spawn of Satan, definitely. In Revelations, 3:16, it says 'and the serpent shall come forth and his name shall be Falwell!' It's obvious that Falwell is just another liberal media concoction designed to corrupt our children. His round little belly is a blatant metaphor for 'mother Earth,' also known as Satan! His little 'theories' are similarly close to documented drug experiences, as are his 'close talks with God'. Are we to believe that he himself talks with our God Jehovah? In the Book of Revelations it says that the AntiChrist will come and preach to us, and to try and teach us lies! 'Falwell' sounds Jewish to me. Show us your nose, Falwell! Try and prove to me that you're on God's side!" ranted Winky.
When asked to comment on the accusations, Falwell said "Man, talk about the pot calling the kettle black."