+-+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|S|---------[The Holy Bible © 1997-1998 Self-Induced Negativity]-----------| 
+-+--------------[The Diary of Dr. Frankenstien as a Child]----------------+ 
|I|------------------------------[By: sewid]-------------------------------|
+-+----------------------[Released: January 28, 1999]----------------------+
|N|-----------------------[http://www.sinnerz.com]-------------------------|
+-+------------------------------------------------------------------------+


9:00am : Today as I awoke from my deep slumber, my head still scarred from 
         the pressure of the table against my face, I realized somthing 
         strange..Erection not found.

9:15am : After  relieving myself in a large test tube, neglecting 
         to  brush  my  teeth  or bathe, I decided to look further into my
         morning dillema.

9:25am : Close examination of the lower genitalia show hints of mis and or 
         over use. Will conduct tests.

10:43am: My investigation has led me to the conclusion that the once mighty 
         penis, is now dead. Limp meter reads 100%, must find cure.

11:15am: Possible  cure found! This trajedy boggled my mind for over a half
         hour. Yet the answer is quite simple. Materials consist of only 
         one object, that object being a small metal rod. Once the rod is
         obtained,  I can insert it into the hole of shaft, and once again
         gain full hardness. Executing hypothisis now.

11:25am: Metal rod obtained, but alas having trouble inserting. Will find
         remedy for situation.

11:42am: Ah HA! Mothers bacon grease left over from last night aliviated 
         problems. Now to test the erection.

12:05pm: Testing of psuedo-erection proved a partial negative. While the 
         penis did give the apearance and general feel of a full on 
         erection, the weight of the metal rod has turned the vertical
         direction of the penis, downward. Mirror tests have concluded
         this looks un-human. Must find remidial solution.

12:38pm: Solution found and executed. Tied large magnet around neck. 
         Powerfull magnetic pulses draw metal rod upwards, giving the
         perception of an acctuall erection!

1:50pm:  Mother queries about lumped pants. Answer: It's science mom, I 
         wouldnt expect you to understand.

2:48pm:  Urination problems arise.

2:58pm:  Unrination problems solved. Puncturing the lower base of the shaft
         remidied this problem, allowing the flow of urine matter. Only 
         drawback is I have to pee sideways.

3:19pm:  Read the penthouse mailbag, somthing tells me this stuff isnt real.

3:30pm:  Temporary urination problem. The hole that I had cut in the lower base
         of my shaft earlyier had scabbed over, had to pick it off. Puss mistaken
         for semen.

4:15pm:  Embarrassing moment..Went to bend over to pick up dropped object, penis 
         hit chest head on, thrust metal pole down and jabbed internal organs, 
         I fear deep puncture. Once again psuedo-erection looks un-human. While
         the base and middle of my penis stand erect, the tip of it points downwards
         limply. Must correct position of rod.

4:45pm:  Situation grows worse. While splicing penis with blade in order to obtain
         direct access to metal rod, exsessive bleeding occured, all tissue's have
         been used in prior self joy deployments. Must find substitute for kleenex.

4:50pm:  Tissue substitute found! Dog took job into his own hands. I must say that
         dog tounges can be most usefull in situations like these. Thanks sparky!

5:00pm:  Metal rod successfully obtained, only minor damage to internal organs were
         found, while the shaky slice of the shaft, left penis in ruins. I apologize
         to myself for such rancid mutilation.

5:19pm:  Found sparky downstairs having convulsions. Cant help but think my penial 
         blood caused this.

5:32pm:  Sparky starts regurgitating blood. Mother asks whats wrong with sparky, 
         I claim innocence, seemed to have worked. Mother wants to take sparky
         to vet, to save myself the embarrassment I had to retort with quick plan.
         Told mother to go get blanket for sparky. While she went upstairs to get
         what I had told her to get, I choked sparky. Mother enters room with blanket.
         Pretend to cry as if I cared. Sparky's dead mother.

6:00pm:  Penis still mangled from prior self-surgury, I can feel every throb,
         but on the bright side, intense burning deminishing as scabbing occurs. 

6:04pm:  Mother says sparky is stinking up living room, must take his body outside and
         do somthing with it.

7:23pm:  Plopped sparky into garden in back yard. Noticed sparky's immense penis, the
         wheels in my head started to turn. I, having a penis that was beyond repair,
         saw this as a perfect opportunity to regain my manlyhood. 

7:30pm:  Surgicaly removed sparky's penis, placed it in jar. Getting ready for penial
         transplant. Must first successfully remove mangled bits of old penis that still
         dangle from groin area.

7:52pm:  Old penis removed without incident. 

7:55pm:  I took the dogs penis specimen out of the jar and begin the process in which 
         will allow me to once again have a penis. Pain occurs when needle peirces skin. 

8:05pm:  New penis finally stitched on and employed. I now have penis, mirror tests show
         semi-human apearance. I give myself a pat on the back. Yay for me! Must find
         object in order to test sexual activities on.

8:15pm: Sexual testing partner found! Once again, even with the absense of life, my dog 
        sparky has prooven to be usefull!

8:30pm: Troublesome day, yet science has prevailed. I cannot help but contiplate the future
        of my career as a scientist. What forth will this manevolant world bring me 
        tommorow? Must sleep now, for tommorow is yet another day for science!