Fun Caribbean will instruct you how to get "babes" off the beach and the pick up lines NOT to use.

We don't appreciate being owned, but it's a good thing Kevin Mitnick is on his way out. It will give these punk kids a new martyr to shout out on their page. Shouts to seven one nine[tap and ks] and seekers of knowledge[ill and pulse]. Much love to the scene and keep things non-destructive. God bless His Kings.

As befits heaven-on-earth, there is much to enjoy, see and do. Beaches, boats, banks and bikinis are Caribbean menu essentials. But the No 1 playground for the Americas also comprises movie-set beauty, coconut-tree-clad mountains, verdant valleys of sugar cane and bananas, and seashore galore.

Long desired by foreign powers, Caribbean islands come in basic British, Dutch, Spanish, American, French, Danish and there is even a Swedish town named Gustavia after His Swedish Majesty at the time.

Among celebrities who came to stay, at least part time are: Sean Connery, Princess Margaret, Errol Flynn, Sir John Templeton, Arthur Hailey, Claudette Colbert, Ernest Hemingway and Sir Noel Coward. The latter described his beloved Jamaica as "no place like home."

Caribbean cities glow with glorious architecture in communities established long before the automobile. Capitals such as Havana and Santo Domingo are built to human scale, just right for walking and talking tours.

In a more organized approach to Caribbean islands in the sun, we offer first the largest tropical island in the western hemisphere, Cuba; former 'veddy British' and now independent Jamaica; The Bahamas, northerly neighbor of the Caribbean isles.